So after 45 Years of practising judo and 5 years teaching it full time I find myself just beginning to understand how little I know (cue round of applause from serried ranks of old ladies Monty Python style, he's soooo self effacing soooo humble modest and attractive with it).
A humble 'don't mind lil ol me' start to what I fear maybe a steroid rage in virtual print.
45 Years...... think about that.....
Think about the cumulative experience much of it unconscious, but more recently the conscious effort to understand, to analyse and disseminate this knowledge in a way that can help others to short cut the time it took me to arrive where I am.
Last night I was approached by the parent of a very young child who has just (3 weeks) started judo.
"Can I have a quick word"?
he asked........
"Have a slow one".
I quipped.....
"My son was doing something he shouldn't have been doing earlier and neither you or Don noticed, I'm not sure what I should have done as Don didn't seem happy for me to tell my son direct about what he was doing wrong".............
YOU ARE FUCKING JOKING I thought...
He said, he never quite made me understand what this was, gripping the head was as far as we got.
"Have a look at the Walls" I said (bedecked with World Championship, International and National success memorabilia),
"he hasn't done a bad job so far".
"Without your son or your help" I didnt add.
"Have you done judo"?
I asked the question knowing the answer (tried and failed, tried and gave up, he must succeed where I failed etc).
"Yeah a little bit when I was younger".
At this point I suggested he re start judo by trying a Wednesday night session.
I explained that this might give some insight into what his son is facing.
He changed the subject quickly, explaining that he 'ran through the hold downs' with his son at home.
He may have read the expression in my eyes as he hastily added that the size difference between him, a grown adult and his 5 year old son, brought its own practical problems to these drills.
My expression had more to do with the idea that an adult could imagine that 3 weeks watching gave him the unique insight into this sport that could not only replace over a 100 years of cumulative experience at his son's disposal that night, but more importantly, the confidence to ask permission to coach his child.
Coaching is difficult enough without the constant rear guard action necessary to hold back the tide of dad's that hover out of their chairs, whispering commands to their poor children, who constantly have half their attention on their fathers, (and yes in my experience, it IS fathers not mothers, although there are exceptions to this rule).
The 'advice' proffered is usually the last thing they heard (and half understood) the coach say.
This is then chanted as a mantra, irrespective of the situation, or it's demands...
"turn him over!"
bet he didn't think of that don't forget to tell him to breathe whilst your at it.
"arm roll!"
Usually suggested when their child is laying prone, face down flat on the mat, with the tips of their opponents fingers grazing their armpit.
"drive it"
Always a favourite, implying as it does, a manly determination, and yet vague enough for almost any scenario.
You have no idea how difficult this stuff is for an adult, let alone a 5 year old who is still making the neuromuscular connections and gaining the motor skills an adult (even a coach) can take for granted.
The poor children stuck between this rock and a hard place are desperate to satisfy their fathers and gain their respect.
This is the respect and love that they are owed without condition from a parent.
They are their fathers....so much more than their coaches could ever be.
If they got their job right and left us to do ours, or perhaps spend 40 years doing it, then start a club, then train a few world champions and Olympians and then perhaps begin to understand how much they still have to learn.
Second thoughts shut up and sit down I'm doing
(and it is costing me a fortune in lost earnings)!
Footnote: I address the issue of the fools and NOT the well informed, well intentioned and knowledgeable parents who spend countless hours at the side of the judo mat, sharing their child's dreams and sacrificing their money and social lives in the process.
A tricky topic well explained. These same well meaning but misdirected folk can also reshape the England football team and have an opinion on world peace and running the government. There is a time, a place and a person for everything and that person is not always your Dad.
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