Why don't WH Smith sell it double sided tape? The child shop assistant explained "that's one fing everyone asks for an we avn't got").
It had been only 5 days from my first appointment with my GP on the previous Monday, when I had been assured that my drooping left eyelid was nothing to be too concerned about.
I considered that this relaxed attitude, maybe a consequence of this being my eye and not his.
He pronounced it a Pstosis (silent p but not in your pants please) and told me that the strange episodes of double vision I had experienced were unrelated.
In this short time circumstances had moved my life in a previously unimaginable way and I searched the shelves of Mr Robert Dyas in the way one might explore using the wrong end of a smeary telescope, with my field of vision reduced by both my left and right eyelids at half mast.
I found it and with a feeling of excitement headed off to the park, with my daughter Yasmin.
Patience has never been a strength for me and after what seemed like an age pushing Yasmin on the swing, she finally tired of it and set off for the slide.
This allowed me the opportunity I had been anticipating and I tore off a section of tape approx. 10mm long by 5mm wide and carefully attached it to my eyelid.
Of course this was after I had carefully stuck it down a few times on my hand to reduce it's adhesion (one cannot be too careful).
This rudimentary but nevertheless practical attempt at lifting my eyelid enough to get some vision back was partially successful,however, following a few further attempts in my bathroom, I reverted to my original solution which, whilst more effective was also more likely to frighten small children..
A strip of standard Sellotape about 30mm in length can be remarkably effective in keeping one's eyes open and also scores top marks for comedic effect (I am using a pair of 'Patent Pending Fricker Keep Ups' as I type this)..
I am already making mental plans to get me through my next big test which is a day coaching at a judo competition.
I have decided to trial contact lenses in conjunction with my Mk 1 Sellotape strips to both eyes covered with an enormous pair of ladies sunglasses.
Would I rather risk being considered a pre-op transexual judo coach.
I feel that my dark sense of the absurd is going to be a key to getting me through the next chapter.
My return to my GP 2 days ago convinced him that it was neurological, as it was now bi-lateral (both sides... keep up).
This news opened a Pandora's Box, full of dark possibility but his best guess is Myasthenia Gravis an auto immune disorder that interferes with muscle strength by reducing the signals received from nerves.
I have of course Googled this condition endlessly and I am now watching my body with concern. This evening I struggled to control my lips whilst eating my dinner and was struggling to speak without slurring as I got tired
This is likely to prove a huge change for me as I have been training really hard at MMA BJJ and Kettlebells, reaching a great level of fitness which I now have to watch disappear, a day at a time.
I have at least the love of a great wife and family which I suspect I shall need..
Tomorrow I am making an early start and so (dear myself) it's off to bed. .
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