(semi normal activity 4)

Chapter 4 

Friday 21st June

Really enjoyed some semi normal activity last night, it was a great way to forget this stuff as I watched Olly deliver two good judo classes at LVS.
With both eyes taped open and aviator style sunglasses over my normal glasses I looked like some weird
Top Gun meets Frankenstein's monster combo!
The children appeared (from the little I could see) to take it all their stride, with top marks to dear Tano who continued to carry on conversations with me as though nothing was amiss.

I swear children are some kind of superior species of human, their honesty and lack of ambiguity is so refreshing.
Take for instance my good friend Henry, who, on being asked by his mum to wish me well, instead decided to ask me why I was writing things down rather than talking! At this point my speech impediment was turned to level 10 on the bluthhhhpssometer so it was faster to scribble!

Quite understandably he then asked why I was wearing two pairs of glasses..... removing my sunglasses I explained that "THESE are to save you from looking at THIS!" he stared at my taped eyelids in a bemused way as I removed the second pair, saying "AAAAAND these are for me to see with!"

I removed both pairs with a dramatic flourish, in the way a magician completes the reveal, at the end of an impressive trick.... dear Henry however remained singularly unimpressed.
My beautifully engineered wit was lost in translation as he heard something like
  "tttthhhhsbbb sss THIS!" followed by "AAAAAAND  thhhhssssthbbbsss with!".

The fact that Henry did not run screaming is a testament to the trust he has built in me, imagine then how poor Declan must have felt.
Declan an LVS pupil chose last night to make his debut at judo and as I spluttered in his face attempting to guide him through his first techniques I must have presented a truly bizzare spectacle (or spectacles)!
He showed great promise and I hope he returns, but I imagine that either way, the memory of his first judo lesson will live with him for the rest of his life (possibly wake him screaming in a lather of sweat too)!

The final indignity was inflicted on me when an athletic looking man approached me asking whether I was the coach. He had already scored 10 out of 10 for even approaching me given my appearance,
"Yes" I replied with no trouble at all......... and it was from this promising start that things went down hill quickly. He introduced himself as David Simpson a name that immediately stuck a chord somewhere in my mind. He asked me about the mats we were using, explaining that a Korean Martial art was practiced at his school.
As he confirmed that this was Holme Grange School a great independent school near my house in Wokingham that I have wanted to approach for a long time..
I realised, with growing horror, that this was in fact the head of sport from Holme Grange, someone I had  written to him only recently at the behest of a parent!

I tried in vain to explain my current predicament and why I had not followed my letter with the promised phone call. To his credit through all of this, he remained remarkably calm and polite, as my son Oliver gallantly attempted to translate!
He gave me his email address (I had obviously impressed him with my wit and charm) and as he left I promised to call him once I regain control of my body!
This condition I no longer confer on it the status that is attached to the title 'disease', just who does it think it is eh) marches on. I have been watching and waiting for its next cheap trick and whilst I could be imagining it I suspect that I maybe feeling a slight numbness in my fingers, nothing that can't be fixed with sellotape and string of course!


Roll on Monday and my appointment, at least this feeling of silent freefall will be at an end as I shall be 'in the system'.
I intend to write myself a list of questions for Doctor Armstrong at £250 I think I should try and list at least 250 questions at least getting some value for my dear Mum's money!
Despite it supposedly affecting a tiny number of people my friend Simon Sherwood has just phoned and told me that his sister in law has it and that he was until now unaware. She has offered advice and confirmed that once treated I shall be able to resume my life as before.
Some adjustments will have to be made so no more MMA, no more Brazilian Jui Jitsu, lighter Kettlebells and start running ... sorry jogging!
I just spoke with an old friend Colin Harding and explained how I now have to watch the beginnings of my hard won six pack dissolve.
I have reached a level of fitness that I haven't had since being in the U21 British Judo team at 19 and for what?
I suppose if I have to go down hill it is better to start further up the hill.....

 and on that dreary note!